Living the Turnaround: Love Songs

"Nobody can hurt me. That's my job." - Byron Katie

Byron Katie says that what hurts us - what we suffer about - is not what happens but rather, the painful conclusions we draw and then live out. I have found that to be true in my life, especially when I feel 'hurt' by someone else. I realize, through The Work, that they did what they did once and then I keep hurting myself over and over again.

I have also found that the key to freedom in any relationship is understanding the three kinds of 'business' in life that Katie talks about - yours, mine, and God's - and that when I am out of my own business, I suffer, period. What you do is your business. How I react to what you do is my business. When I leave me and go into your business (what I think you should have/shouldn't have done etc.) then there's nobody here with me. I feel alone and unloved, not because you left me, but because I left me.

So I woke up Saturday morning with Whitney Houston's song Heartbreak Hotel in my head for some strange reason. It's a typical "you hurt me" song that so many women can relate to, one of many popular songs expressing the same old pain over and over again. "Men shouldn't lie. Is that true?" What's the reality of it? Men lie. And so do women, especially to ourselves when we say that men shouldn't lie, when in reality they do! It's called being human. If we knew how to tell the truth all the time, we would.

One of the biggest lies of all is "I need your love in order to be happy."

Anyway, as I was singing the words, a switch flipped on in my mind and I decided to turn it all around. Suddenly it becomes an anthem to Katie's advice to give YOURSELF whatever you think others should give you. Fascinating! I think I discovered a whole new genre of music waiting to be released!

Heartbreak Hotel - the turnaround version

You said that you’d be here by nine
And said you took my time
You didn't think to call me

Here I sit trying not to cry
Asking myself why I do this to me

Since I’m not around for me to tell me baby, face to face
I'm writing me this letter, and this is what I have to say:

All I really wanted was some of my time
Instead I told me lies when someone else was on my mind
What I do to me
Look what I did to me

I thought that I was someone who would do me right
Until I play with my emotions and I made me cry
What I do to me
Can't take what I did to me

Now I see that I've been doing wrong
I played me all along, and made a fool of me, baby
I got it all wrong to think that I wouldn't find out
That I was cheating on me.
How could I do it to me?

This is the heartbreak hotel
This is the heartbreak hotel...