This is a good one. From January 31, 2007:
Belief:
Dogs shouldn’t shed all over the place, bark at the door, and should come in when called.
Dogs shouldn’t make the floor dirty and unsanitary for my infant son. I should have a place to sit on the floor without getting dog hair all over myself. I shouldn’t have to clean up after them all the time.
1. Is it true (the belief from above)?
The reality is that they do shed, bark, and ignore me sometimes.
And I do have to clean up after them all the time (if I want a clean house).
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
I can’t know that I would be happier but I sure think I would. It really looks like my life would be much easier if I didn’t have to deal with the dogs all the time. So, I don't know.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
I get so angry and so frustrated and so tired.
I feel like a prisoner in my own house.
I HATE the dogs.
I couldn’t care less about them.
I am mean to them
I yell at them
I smack them in frustration sometimes
I worry that my angst towards them will have a negative impact on my son (being a bad example)
I get mad at them all the time
I am resentful
I hate sweeping the floor
I hate cleaning off the furniture
I hate the house I live in because it feels like there is no space for me
I don’t talk to my husband because I think my negative feelings about the dogs will hurt his feelings
I think that I want to get rid of the dogs
I keep them in the laundry room and avoid them
I see them as a nuisance and a major pain in the butt
I sometimes ignore them
I don’t feel love for them anymore
I don’t play with them
I don’t interact with them except out of anger
I get annoyed by them
I feel totally out of control and I hate myself
I hate how I feel about them! I feel like a total jerk.
Can you see a reason to drop that thought? (And please don’t try to drop it.)
yes.
4. Who would you be without this thought?
First and foremost I would have no negative reaction to hair, barking, or disobedience.
I wouldn’t have any problem with the floor.
I would just clean up or ask for help cleaning up.
I would probably make some kind of routine.
I would be more responsible for the fact that I do have dogs, they do shed, they are not obedient, and they bark.
Without the thought I might just accept all of that.
I would be more peaceful.
I would not get angry, yell at them, or hit them. I would understand that they do what they do until they don’t. For example:
If Daisy knew how to come when called, she would.
If I knew how to train them better, I would.
If they knew how not to bark, they would.
If they knew that they were not allowed on the couch, they wouldn’t sit on it.
I could put the dogs in ‘project mode’ and realize that I have a certain amount of time set aside and a plan in place to take care of and work with them. THEN I could decide whether or not to get rid of them. :)
I would probably give them everything I’ve got.
I would be patient and kind and loving with them. I would make designated DOG areas and make areas that they are NOT allowed in, to be kind to myself.
I would have a door installed between the kitchen and the front room to limit their access to places that I want to keep free of dog hair.
I would get Daisy to a training class. I would probably make training my dogs a priority.
Turn the thought around.
Dogs SHOULD shed all over the place, bark at the door, and NOT come in when called.
-I notice that’s the reality of it. Dogs bark and shed! They can't help it! And I haven't sufficiently trained them anyway.
Other turnarounds:
-I shouldn’t shed all over the place (I shed my clothing and dishes in piles)
-I shouldn’t bark at the dogs (for barking at the door).
-I shouldn’t call them when I know they won’t come in!
-Dogs SHOULD make the floor dirty and unsanitary for my son. (I notice they do. But I could also inquire into the big 'threat' I seem to think the floors present.)
-I shouldn’t make the floor dirty and unsanitary for my son (by not cleaning up the dog hair in an effective way). Clean floors are not the dog’s business – they are mine.
-I should make the floor clean and sanitary for my son. (True- if that is what I want. Again, it’s my business, not the dog’s.They are my floors after all) (and is that even true?)
-I shouldn’t have a place to sit on the floor without getting dog hair all over myself. (If the reality is that I don’t, then I shouldn’t. However, I would question this as well –
Is it true I don’t have a place to sit on the floor?
Can I know it would be in my best interest to have a place to sit on the floor?
(I do have a place to sit on the floor – upstairs. I just don’t use it all that often.)
Still going....
The dogs should have a place to sit on the couch without getting hair all over it.
The dogs should have a place to sit without getting hair all over the floor.
(It's their house too, apparently!)
I should have to clean up after them all the time. (I should, if what I want is a clean house. I should clean all the time because I notice I do. OK not ALL the time. I should do the work on that too… I 'have' to clean up all the time…)
