When You Argue With Reality, You LOSE... but only 100% of the time, part 1

(This post is copied from my blog on RCRN.info, in reference to the launch of my radio show. Dated March 12, 2008)

I just have to say that the "Got Clarity?" Show made a great debut tonight, and not just in my opinion. In the words of those who listened and participated in the chat and on the phones:

"GREAT Show!"
"Very enlightening..."
"I'm on cloud nine"
"I'll be here next week!"
"This ROCKS!"

Thank you SO much for all who participated and tuned in.

For those who were unable to join us, you can replay the podcast in the Real Coaching Radio Widget or later broadcasts in the music player at www.rebeccaoverson.com under the RADIO SHOW tab.

During tonight's show, we got a taste of the brutal truth: When you argue with reality, you lose. But only 100% of the time.

Caller and Chatter "MtnManJim" looked at the idea that "People shouldn't take advantage of me." It went something like this:

"People shouldn't take advantage of me".

1. Is that true?
YES!! I hate it when they do.

2. Can you really know it's true? What's the reality of it?

They do. People do take advantage of me, sometimes.
(We made the point here that indeed, we would all agree that the world would be a better place if people did not take advantage of others... that's just not the way things are on this planet... not yet.) Which leads us to question number three:

3. How do you react when you think "People shouldn't take advantage of you" and they DO?

I get ANGRY. My stomach tenses up. I get suspicious of people. I don't trust them. I try to bring in other people that I do trust to back me up. It's very stressful.

4. Who would you be without the thought "People shouldn't take advantage of me"?

I would see what is happening with more clarity, trust, and peace. I would probably be more honest about when I feel like something is off - I would be responsible for my choices in the interaction.

"People shouldn't take advantage of me" - Turn it around:

a. People should take advantage of me.
I can see that this statement is true in the sense that they DO take advantage of me.
I can also see that sometimes as a realtor, I will be very generous in what I am offering and give people incredible deals, and I WANT them to take advantage of me, in that sense! I want them to accept this incredible deal that I am offering because it serves my purposes. So in that sense, being taken advantage of ain't such a bad thing...

b. I shouldn't take advantage of people.
(Jim had a hard time at first finding how he takes advantage of others. I pointed out that he was chatting in the chat room while 'pretending' to be doing The Work with me. ie. maybe taking a little advantage of something there...?)
Jim saw that he takes advantage of people at times. He's doing his best - he doesn't know how to completely stop doing that yet. Maybe others trying just as hard. Hm. It's great advice... can YOU follow it?

So, when I asked Jim at the end of this piece if it was still true for him that "People shouldn't take advantage of me" he said No, which is different than his original answer (see question #1 above). The insights he gave himself during the process opened his eyes to see what he hadn't seen before - that in reality, the only thing that happens is that someone offers him something and he takes it, or not. "Taking Advantage of..." is a story... an interpretation about a transaction that leaves you not being responsible for checking it out, following your gut, doing your due dilligence.

That's a great example of how investigating your thoughts with The Work of Byron Katie allows the thoughts to let go of YOU.

Nice work, Jim!